As a little bit of background, this is a poem I wrote a while ago. Though most of it is a commentary on some incidents of police brutality, somewhere in the midst of the piece I reflect on myself as well. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy.
I’ve been down for long – words to die by, or maybe to drive by
Since misery loves company, and if I’m gonna ‘feel some type of way’ then YOU, you coming too!
To the grave that is, cause shit’s never been graver, they trying to suffocate me like I was Eric Garner.
But it was success that I was trying to garner.
As if this was the least of my worries. People going down quicker than snowflake flurries.
Except they’re whiter than coal.
Like the fire that burns in my soul.
Now it’s just a glimmer, a glint, a flare.
But they’ve been keeping me out the winner’s circle for too long.
I started believing that I was a loser, not just a loser, THE Loser, a regular to defeat.
I was not just the effect, I was the cause of years of depression, of no reflection or inflection.
They had won, or so they thought, for I, I had a fire still inside me small yet —
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!”
And oh boy! Did I let it shine.
As my spirit shone stronger, my blaze blew brighter. but in return my rage rose.
Was it really a surprise though?
With strength comes power, and power, that all-intoxicating nectar, can sometimes leave us blind,
this time with rage, anger, and hate. but I wanted to leave those emotions behind.
If we let ourselves attack those who oppose us, than we become the executioner.
Violence doesn’t solve the equation. Yes, it takes a highly skilled practitioner,
To equate hate with peace, like one would west to east.
I wish I can change the past, I wish I can make everybody fucking happy all the fucking time,
but I kan’t, Imman, I mean if we didn’t have the past how would we shape the future,
how would we go farther… on this path.
I must learn to barter, not with money, but with my life.
It’s a shame,
Cause I’ve been down for so long.